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First things first: I'm a realist.

2019 Movies

30/05/2020 · by Joy

It has been quite a while since I’ve been on here. Apparently I reviewed Judy in February of this year but I really don’t remember doing so. I also honestly thought I had cancelled the domain for this website a long time ago. Apparently not – apparently I’ve been paying for it this whooole time.

I don’t have a particular movie that I want to review right now, so maybe I’ll start off slow, with some mini-reviews of my personal favourite movies of 2019, in no particular order.

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
2019 was a particularly strong year, so I almost feel like HTTYD 3 got kind of swept up. Some absolutely exceptional filmmaking took place. That said, I have always had a soft spot for both preceding HTTYD films – Hiccup and Toothless have held a special place in my heart since 2010. The Hidden World truly shattered my heart into a thousand little pieces coming in as the best trilogy end that we HTTYD fans could have asked for. I’ve seen it a number of times now and also own it on 4K because it’s just that good. You’d expect a second sequel to take a nosedive in quality, but that just doesn’t happen with this one.

Parasite
Parasite was the big stunner of the year. Bong Joon-ho has been one of my favourite directors for quite some time. I don’t remember the first time I saw Memories of Murder but I still remember what it felt like to be blown away. For those that can’t tolerate subtitles, probably not the movie for you, but I have to say – you’re missing out! I went into Parasite expecting a horror and what I got was… not exactly that, but not exactly not that either. It was a mind-bender that really threw us for a couple of loops.

Marriage Story
Netflix exclusive Marriage Story was kind of polarizing – a lot of people hailed it as genius and those passionate fans wanted it to win Best Picture, others couldn’t help but express disbelief that it was receiving so much praise… I was more middled. I really enjoyed the performance by Adam Driver (as I always do), but I found Scarlett Johansson so wooden (as I almost always do). It was very Kramer vs. Kramer and I enjoyed it – watched it three times, in fact – but I just didn’t think it was exactly Best Picture material because other than Driver’s performance, everything else was somewhat subpar.

Little Women
As far as nostalgia value goes, Little Women took the cake. One of my favourite books from my childhood, Greta Gerwig took this source material and made it her own. From cinematography to score to acting chops to costume design, Little Women, to me, was kind of perfection. Amy March has always been my favourite March sister and Florence Pugh really gave Amy the redemption she deserved after alll the other Amys making her look bad – even in the scenes where Florence is supposed to be 12 (hilarious), she made it work. It was awesome. Saiorse Ronan played Jo – casting perfection. Timothee Chalamet played Laurie – again, perfect cast. Emma Watson played Meg – worked because I think Emma is so dull. Some girl played Beth and did a wonderful job, but for some reason I can never ever remember her name (it’s Eliza Scanlen – I’m so sorry, Eliza). I will watch this at least three times a year until the day I die.

Uncut Gems
I kept hearing all this praise for Uncut Gems, calling it Adam Sandler’s best performance of his career, and I will be honest – I resisted. I did. I watched this movie and I was on the edge of my seat, riddled with anxiety, throughout the whole damn thing. But I loved it! I loved it so much. It was a wild ride from start to finish and one that I highly (hiiiighly) recommend.

The Farewell
I am so disappointed that The Farewell wasn’t nominated for Best Picture. Awkwafina (despite the embarrassing stage name) was absolutely balls to the wall fantastic. I was heartbroken and uplifted all at once. The performances are authentic and wonderful, the story is heartwrenching, and on top of that, it is a movie directed by Chinese-American Lulu Wang and starring an all-Asian cast, set in China, allowing me to learn a small bit about the Chinese culture. Man, I love a movie that is equally educational and entertaining.

Knives Out
Knives Out was my most anticipated film of 2019. I waited with bated breath for this one to be released into theatres and was so excited to see it. With a star- studded cast (the Queen herself: Jamie Lee Curtis, Daniel Craig, Chris Evans, Toni Collette, LaKeith Stanfield, Christopher Plummer…), a whodunnit storyline (the best kind of storyline), and the director of one of my other favourites (Rian Johnson & Brick)… there’s literally nothing that can go wrong. AND NOTHING DID! It was amazing. It IS amazing! Watch it, watch it now!

The Lighthouse
Okay. This one is not for everybody. Not at all. It’s an A24 movie (though so is The Farewell and actually, I think Midsommar too). It’s in black and white. It has two cast members: Willem DaFoe and Robert Pattinson. They speak like sailors from the goddamn 18th century. It was wonderful. I usually go into movies like this with a healthy dose of skepticism because sometimes these types of movies are pretentious and stupid, but this one… is not one of those movies. You should definitely give it a try, but I also won’t fault you if you aren’t a fan.

Us
I loved Get Out. I love Jordan Peele from literally everything he’s ever done. He is amazing, he is funny, he is great, he is handsome. HE IS JORDAN PEELE! Us was just as good, if not better than Get Out! It is a commentary on classism while also being absolutely horrifying. I can never look at white rabbits the same way again. Lupita is pErFeCtIoN! Shahadi Wright Joseph – amazeballs. Madison Curry is first cute as heck and then a little unsettling. Great movie. Great. 10/10.

Midsommar
Midsommar is definitely an Ari Aster film. Definitely. There are things I didn’t quite enjoy about it, but overall, I did like it. I liked it way more than Hereditary, at least. First of all, it stars my favourite actress, Florence Pugh – her smooth, buttery voice is my favourite sound. Second of all, it’s just bizarre as all hell. Like, if you’re looking for a movie where you’re like, “……what? …….WHAT! ……WHAT?!?!” the whole time – you have found it. This is it. You are here.

Jojo Rabbit
I was looking forward to watching Jojo Rabbit also – I like Taika Waititi’s directing style a lot (i.e., What We Do in the Shadows and Thor: Ragnarok, also anything Flight of the Conchords). I wasn’t as in love with Jojo as I was with some of the others, but I did really enjoy it. It was a tough watch at some points during the film and it’s hard to grasp the concept of a movie about a little boy who’s imaginary friend is literally Hitler, but it’s clearly satirical and the performances were beyond impressive, especially considering there were so many child actors in this guy. I’d watch it again, for sure.

Honey Boy
Another movie I was really looking forward to throughout the year was Honey Boy – starring and written by Shia LaBeouf while also kind of being a bit autobiographical, it was again, a tough watch. Shia LaBeouf plays the character who is supposed to represent his father (fictionally named James Lort). You can tell it was something of a catharsis for Shia, and you could tell that it was close to his heart. I liked this one.

The Peanut Butter Falcon
The second Shia LaBeouf film of 2019 – The Peanut Butter Falcon – was another gem that just straight up knocked it out of the park. The worst part about this movie was easily Dakota Johnson – she is just not a good actress, she doesn’t have the skills to match Shia by any means. Zack Gottsagen, a young man with Down’s Syndrome, was absolutely wonderful to watch.

Booksmart
Last but not least, a movie that was completely and entirely shunned at all the fricken awards shows – Booksmart. Directed by none other than THE Olivia Wilde, it was just something I wasn’t expecting. It was funny and it was real. It was very Pitch Perfect-y. Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever were a blast. Highly recommend for a good time.

Judy (2019)

11/02/2020 · by Joy

I will be the first to admit that I thought that Judy was going to be another Oscar-bait, old Hollywood, schlocky-type film. I was partially correct. Currently sitting at 82% on Rotten Tomatoes, I kind of fell in love with this little guy. I’m one of those people that reallllly enjoys a good biopic – I have enjoyed the surge of them in the past few years (I’m looking at you, Rocketman, and yes, even you, Bohemian Rhapsody), so yes, I have a biased interest coming into this one.

Going into Judy, I had very little knowledge of what Judy Garland’s life actually looked like. I knew she died young and I knew she had a turbulent childhood in showbiz and that… that is about it, my friends. Do I feel like I know now? Kind of.

The absolute heart of this movie lies with Renee. This is a performance that you can just tell Renee Zellweger poured herself into. Before the Oscars and before seeing Judy, I was pretty sure that Renee was going home with Best Actress and the reasons for that are clear: a movie about Hollywood – check, a movie about a real life person complete with actress impersonating said person – check, historical biopic – check. It was a shoe-in. I finished watching the Oscars and said, man, I really wish that Renee Zellweger hadn’t won Best Actress and it should have 100% gone to Saiorse… but now that I’ve actually seen the movie (funny how that changes an opinion), I see it. I see it and I understand it.

If ever there was a Renee performance that deserved Best Actress, it was this one. Her performance is tragic and her performance is fabulous. You can’t help but watch her and you can’t help but love her. I truly forgot I was watching Renee and slipped into the mindset that I was watching Judy Garland’s life unfold on my TV screen.

That said, Renee is carrying the film on her back. Without Renee’s stunning performance, there is little to commend – the plot is thin, the supporting cast is mediocre at best, and the writing is just okay.

All in all, I enjoyed the film, but solely based on Renee’s performance. I do think that Judy will be remembered as time elapses, but I think people will remember Renee’s performance without remembering anything else about the film, which is a pretty okay thing to remember it for after all.

Top Ten of 2018

30/12/2018 · by Joy

Well, this is it – tomorrow is the last day of 2018! It’s that weird time between Christmas and New Years when everyone is just sort of floating around, unsure where they are or what day it is… or maybe that’s just me, I don’t know. This year, I don’t want to write about the top ten new movies of 2018, though maybe a lot of this list will be comprised of new movies from this year… I want to go with the top ten movies I watched for the first time in 2018. There are some that just blew me away and have been sitting on a list of “to-watch”es for literally years and I want to acknowledge them! So, here goes nothing…

10. Don’t Talk to Irene (2017)

I saw Don’t Talk to Irene at the North of Superior Film Association’s film festival this past April. I didn’t get a chance to see nearly as many films as I’d have liked to (as I work a lot and can’t necessarily dedicate an entire weekend to seeing films – unfortunately!) but I did manage to catch this one and, man, I enjoyed it. It was quirky, it was fun, and Geena Davis was Irene’s idol – what more can you ask for? While not without flaws, it is so much fun and you can’t help but fall in love with it and Irene.

9. Tully (2018)

I did not expect to enjoy Tully as much as I did. I went in blind, and so should you. Apparently it was pretty controversial amongst, I don’t know, film sticklers and mommy bloggers. I thought it was really well done and… well, I can’t say much else without giving it all away. Give it a watch if you like movies that drop little hints and then blow the doors wide open.

8. The Endless (2017)

Here’s another one I went into totally blind and kind of left with only partial vision, honestly. It was a weirdo, sci-fi, fantasy, bizarro… thing that I really liked. It’s a low-budget film and that is definitely evident, but it plays to the film’s advantage. It’s out there and it’s something totally different. More Primer than Alien, but more culty than Primer. It was a pleasant surprise that kept me on my toes constantly and I had to Google what I had watched afterwards, which I get a sick sort of high from because it’s so “out there” that my little brain can’t quite comprehend it.

7. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (2007)

Okay, now let’s jump back a decade to a film that has been on my ‘list,’ my ‘official’ list, for probably that same amount of time. A French film originally entitled Le scaphandre et le papillon, I entered into this tunnel with only the knowledge that it had something to do with a quadriplegic man. It was so aesthetically interesting and the story was revealed in such an interesting, multiphasic way that piqued my interest.

6. BlacKkKlansman (2018)

BlacKkKlansman was a disturbingly eye-opening look at black vs white race relations in the United States that applies even still today. It jumps all around the emotional spectrum – comedy, tension, ending on the unfortunately realistic note of ‘nothing has changed.’ It challenges current society, triggers feelings of anger and hopelessness, and it couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time.

5. Loving Vincent (2017)

Loving Vincent was easily the most beautifully done film I’ve ever seen. I’ve always been a Van Gogh fan, so when I saw the teaser trailer for this one, I knew I’d see it and love it. I went in with high expectations that were not at all disappointed. It’s entirely animated using rotoscoping (think Waking Life crossed with Starry Night, which was obviously the intention). I thought the story was wonderfully written and I loved seeing familiar faces all… art-y. Would definitely recommend!

4. A Quiet Place (2018)

A Quiet Place is a film I loved so much that I paid full price for the Blu-ray for my collection. You heard that right. I paid full price. It was so well-shot, well-written, and the concept was original (yeah, yeah, Bird Box, blah blah blah, whatever – A Quiet Place was so far superior, there was no contest). It created an environment where you cared about each and every character, even though they were dumb enough to have a baby in this weird post-apocalyptic environment where you can’t make a sound… it’s fine Emily & John, I still love you, but damn… that was not an intelligent decision. This film physically pained me at the end, but I would watch it again and again and I will until the day I die because it was so good. I hope ~~Jim Halpert~~, er… John Krasinski never stops directing.

3. A Star is Born (2018)

I love this movie so much that I hate it. I don’t know that it’s the best movie on this list or that it’s not without it’s own universe of flaws, but there is something about the way it tells its story that sucks me in and I can’t stay away from that soundtrack. Bradley Cooper did an excellent job with this one and Barbra Streisand is probably rolling in her grave* with how much BETTER it is than the 1976 version. So much raw emotion, and the dog, guys, the DOG!

*Yes, I know that Barbra Streisand is still alive.

2. I, Tonya (2017)

I already reviewed this one and I do not care. I loved I, Tonya, I thought Margot Robbie’s portrayal of Tonya Harding was exceptional, I loved everything about Allison Janney, as always. This movie is a joy and a blessing.

1. Coco (2017)

Coco is the best thing Disney has done in a long time. It is enjoyable for everyone – young and old (except maybe my dog because man, he hates Dante the alebrije). I absolutely love this movie. I’ve watched it at least 5 times since I saw it for the first time this year (though, to be fair, I didn’t pay full price for it) and it only gets better the more you watch it. Pixar usually has a ‘thing’ they focus on with each movie – with Brave, it was Merida’s hair and with Coco, it was lighting. The things they did with lighting were downright amazing.

Runner ups:

Eighth Grade (2018) – so painfully and realistically awkward, I felt guilty enjoying it.

Crazy Rich Asians (2018) – that wedding scene – incredible.

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018) – Rami Malek makes you fall in love with Freddie Mercury all over again.

To All the Boy I’ve Loved Before (2018) – the cutest movie I saw all year.

6 Balloons (2018) – heartwrenching.

Halloween (2018)

21/10/2018 · by Joy

WARNING: Not a spoiler-free review.

This was an unexpected, long-awaited occurrence which surprised me in many ways and swooped in like a miracle and fixed and erased everything I hated about the Halloween saga. I had pretty high expectations but not too high, because after all, it’s still a slasher and it’s still Halloween and the concept is… pretty easy to capture.

He’s back – Michael. She’s back – Laurie. She has a daughter who is annoying and doesn’t understand how trauma influences its victims and that when your friends are murdered by who is called the ’embodiment of pure evil,’ and you are pursued by said ’embodiment of pure evil,’ you don’t just get over it. She also has a granddaughter who conveniently loses her cell phone to a bowl of either slush or polenta, I’m not entirely sure. But really, the only two people that matter are Michael and Laurie, so it’s all good.

I was impressed with most things and there were things I was less than impressed with. For instance, the beginning scenes with the investigative journalists seemed pretty irrelevant and I mostly forgot about it by the time they left my screen. They never appeared again. It seemed like a hokey way to reintroduce Laurie Strode and to clear up “misconceptions” about the backstory (i.e., plot points that were created by the pre-existing sequels). It also seemed like a hokey way to demonstrate Michael’s existence in the asylum with the “New Loomis” (which is basically what he was). I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it either.

We meet Laurie Strode once again and we find out that she has spent the last 40 years creating a home where she can feel safe – multiple locks on her front door and a kitchen island that is a powered secret entrance to her basement where she keeps an impressive collection of guns and weapons presumably for her protection. Bafflingly enough though, her house has a great number of large windows with little to no protection. Seems strange that when you’ve fought with Michael, you don’t think that one of his favourite things to do is smash through windows and grab you from behind… but okay, I’ll suspend my disbelief.

It’s evident throughout the whole film that this movie was created by a group of passionate individuals. Jamie Lee Curtis slips back into her role as seamlessly as one can. Judy Greer seemed entirely out of place and I wasn’t thrilled with anything her character did. Yes, I get it, her character is supposed to be resentful that her mother spent her entire childhood training her to protect herself against the serial killer that murdered several of her friends in 1978 – that sucks, but it’s also understandable. That’s a traumatic event, lady. The constant repetition coming out of Judy Greer’s mouth – “Get over it” – just makes her play as a callous, insensitive and unlikeable individual.

So anyway, when Laurie’s granddaughter’s graduation or whatever it was supposed to be takes place and Laurie meets them for dinner on October 30th after watching the bus depart from the cushy existence Michael has known to transfer him to a maximum security facility (why they chose to transfer him on this particular date is so beyond me…), and Laurie is understandably upset and distraught, it really grinds my gears to see her treated the way she is – with disdain and “I told you so”‘s. I mean, come on, (a) in the original Halloween, Michael is being transported to court and MICHAEL LITERALLY ESCAPES on the same date 40 years earlier in the exact same manner, thus being the incident that started it all, (b) Michael is obsessed with Laurie and will most definitely track her down if he escapes again, (c) this woman clearly has PTSD from coming face to face with a ruthless killer!!!

Anyway, so Michael escapes from the bus (obviously) and Laurie gets the cops to escort her to her daughter’s house to pick up her daughter and her family, but lo and behold, her granddaughter is not there and is totally unreachable because COINCIDENTALLY her weird, drunk, cheating boyfriend threw her phone into a strange substance and it is no longer working and she didn’t even seem to try to fish it out and save it??? But anyway, that’s a convenient plot point.

At this same time in the story, we see Michael steal his Shatner mask back from the stupid journalists, kill them, and move on to start a killing spree, sparing no one but the children. He kills Laurie’s granddaughter’s best friend and her boyfriend, he kills numerous other people – I lost count at 15 – and eventually faces off with Laurie. I won’t spoil the ending (not that this has been a spoiler-free review at all), but it’s pretty satisfying.

All in all, I had a lot of fun watching this one. There was comic relief, there were brutal murders, there was a slow-moving Michael, there were fun lighting effects, there was Jamie Lee Curtis who is obviously the highlight of the film. I really enjoyed it. I think it was a solid sequel and I think it was effective. Slashers aren’t meant to be scary, they’re meant to be fun and with that, Halloween accomplishes just that.

A Star is Born (2018)

14/10/2018 · by Joy

I can’t begin to describe to you the reluctance I had in seeing this film. The reluctance due to the fact that I vastly misjudged Lady Gaga. I’ve always loved Bradley Cooper literally since seeing him in Wet Hot American Summer – you see him on film and he just has a certain authenticity about him. Plus, it super helps that he’s a beautiful, beautiful man. I had no reservations about seeing a Bradley Cooper movie.

Don’t get me wrong – I love (and I do mean love) musicals. I wish my voice was spectacular enough to be in one because I would be allll over that shit. And I love musicals that star those that don’t typically cross-over from film to recording studio – a la Johnny Depp (Crybaby), Rosario Dawson (Rent), etc. But for some reason, I didn’t think Lady Gaga could pull it off and I was so, so incredibly incorrect. Lady Gaga brought everything to the table. She was fantastic. Her acting was natural and, I hesitate to say it, but flawless. She was authentic, she was genuine, she filled the role perfectly. I read right after seeing the film that both Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper’s vocals were live and untouched and I believe it. Lady Gaga has a very powerful, distinct voice. It fills a room with any melody – any genre. She is extremely versatile.

Now, combine the two – one of my favourite actors and one of my favourite singers – and imagine… just imagine that they have perfect chemistry together. I am fully jumping on the bandwagon and saying that I for sure think that Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga belong together. Of course, I googled it and Lady Gaga is, in fact, married, and so is Bradley Cooper, but I just have to say… maybe not for long after their significant others see this movie.

This may come as a surprise to you, but I actually had no idea this was a remake, let alone a remake of a remake of a remake of a remake which was a loose remake of a film. That’s right, there is a 2013 Bollywood version which my mom postulates doesn’t count because it didn’t come to the Americas and I tend to agree, the 1976 version with Barbra Streisand, the 1954 version with Judy Garland, and the 1937 version with Janet Gaynor, which was a loose remake of What Price Hollywood? (1932). You bet your ass that I’m about to rent the rest of those A Star is Borns on the Google Play store and go to town (and probably subsequently die from an emotional breakdown because… wow).

For some reason, I wasn’t expecting such a wallop of an ending as I got and I lost it. Like, I’m not talking a few tears escaped the confines of my eyelids, I’m talking full-force, tears rolling down my cheeks and falling into my large, extra buttered popcorn. I was a mess. Over the course of 134 minutes, Bradley Cooper (who also directed this one, did I forget to mention that?) managed to build two incredibly loveable and realistic characters that had me wrapped around their pinky fingers. The character depth was built gradually with little unnecessary exposition – it felt natural and none of it felt like, “oh hey, we’re just saying this stuff for the benefit of the audience who has no clue what our history was”… it felt real. Interactions between Ally and Jackson Maine felt real, interactions between Jackson and Bobby felt raw, interactions between Ally and her father and Jack and Ally’s father – real. I don’t know if that speaks more to excellent writing or excellent casting – I guess a combination of both.

The music was phenomenal – like I said, Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga’s vocals were all live and unedited and it worked so well. Bradley Cooper altered his voice to sound deeper, more weathered, and way more gravelly and that also worked. You can tell a lot of effort and love went into shaping the perfect characters for this film. This may sound biased (because you already know I love B.C.), but I think that Bradley Cooper can do it all – he is a singer, he can act, and he’s got a beautiful (oh so beautiful) face. His voice wasn’t perfect, but it was real and it was open and I feel like I’ve used the word “real” maybe like 6 too many times in this review and I don’t care. I haven’t left the theatre (or my couch depending on whether I feel like putting on real pants that day or not) feeling this way in a long time – the feeling that new life has been breathed into my love for film. Thank you, Bradley Cooper (marry me?)

Report card:

Starring cast – amazing, perfect, wonderful.
Supporting cast (Sam Elliott, Anthony Ramos, Dave Chappelle) – perfect, couldn’t be any better if they tried.
Music – phenomenal, “Shallow” is the new theme song of my life.
Writing – great.
Story – heart-wrenching.
Bradley Cooper – A+++, shattered my heart into a million little pieces.

Searching (2018)

15/09/2018 · by Joy

When Unfriended came out in 2014, I watched it and I wasn’t like, “oh, that was a great/horrible movie” but I was very intrigued by the style of the movie. “Filmed” entirely on a computer screen (or I guess, multiple computer screens), it was something new and different that, at the time, I thought hadn’t been done before. I’ve since watched The Den (2013) and again, I was kind of thrilled by this new methodology. Searching is a lot like that.

Searching branches out a little bit and includes news footage shots and CCTV shots, but everything is via ‘screen’ – nothing is overtly filmed in the traditional sense. To be honest, Searching was a breath of fresh air. John Cho was absolutely fantastic in every way and I am now blessed with a weird thing where I wish John Cho was MY dad. The film starts out with an emotional gunshot and keeps you thinking right until the very end. You’re never entirely sure what to believe and you’re never entirely sure what’s around the corner. I was kind of thrown off my game a little when Debra Messing was suddenly a cop because the whole movie, in the back of my mind, all I could think was there is no way that Grace Adler can pull off this detective thing.

Searching was packed full of red herrings and twists. It was exceptionally well thought out and while normally I leave a movie like this with plot holes forever emerging in my mind as I recount and process what I’ve watched, so far I can’t find any. This is a welcome surprise for me having just watched Hereditary last night and finding a very different result (more on that experience in a separate review). I can’t say that I was exceptionally surprised by the end result as there was an inkling there, but I was never at any point before it was revealed, fully aware that I had the right notion.

It was realistic, it was touching, and it really made a statement about what our lives our with the Internet dominating so much of our time and holding so many of our “secrets,” ready to be exposed if someone just… takes the time to look for them. I was thoroughly impressed and this is one I think I’ll add to my personal collection. Recommending you see this ASAP!

The Greatest Showman (2017)

20/08/2018 · by Joy

My hopes were beyond high. My expectations were… well, I wouldn’t say they were that high since I did look at some reviews prior to watching The Greatest Showman, but man… I was not prepared for the severe mediocrity and dullness of this movie.

I am a huge fan of movie-musicals, my favourites being Moulin Rouge!, Les Miserables, Sweeney Todd and, on a more “guilty pleasure” level, Rent, and normally I can find the good in even a mediocre movie-musical. That being said, the only thing I found remotely ‘good’ about The Greatest Showman was Hugh Jackman’s dedication to his role as P.T. Barnum. I later read about how this was a passion project of Hugh’s and that just makes me tremendously sad. To pour your heart and soul (and bank account) into a creation that just falls entirely flat… I can’t even imagine. Though, to be fair, I don’t know if any of Hugh Jackman’s personal dollars were poured into this monstrosity.

The message is a great one. The story is a dull one (and pretty much entirely false). The songs are pathetic attempts at showtunes.

If you’re looking for a biographical film about Barnum’s life, this is not it! One of my favourite things about watching a movie-musical is coming away humming the soundtrack, singing it in my quiet moments, playing the songs endlessly when I’m driving around in my car. I couldn’t hum you a single bar in this movie. Each song was more forgettable than the last and so “poppy” it was physically painful to sit through. It had a promising cast, but most of the characters fell flat and didn’t resonate with me at all.

Hugh was great, Zac was pretty good… Michelle Williams was just Michelle Williams. Zendaya was certainly there.

What does a movie-musical have going for it if it doesn’t have a catchy, fantastic soundtrack, phenomenal (stage-quality) acting, choreography that impresses and awes, and a plot that is driven, that is linear, that is great? It has nothing. It is confused and it is contrived and I literally can’t express to you how much I disliked this film.

All it succeeded in doing was encouraging me to bleach my eyes and ears by watching a superior musical (literally anything else). If this is one you’re excited about, I say skip it and message me, I can give you some worthwhile musicals to spend 106 minutes of your life on.

I, Tonya (2017)

19/07/2018 · by Joy

Oh, hello! It’s been a while. Like. Almost 6 months. And I’m about to review a movie I saw in theatres in December. But the point is, I’m here, okay? I’m reviewing a movie. I’m taking time out of my life to REVIEW a MOVIE.

I, Tonya is, of course, based on the true story of Tonya Harding’s steady climb to the top of the figure skating world, her 15 minutes of fame, and her wickedly quick fall back to rock bottom. I’ll be the first to say that I am not usually a fan of sports films, biographical or otherwise, but I, Tonya was definitely the exception to this rule.

I absolutely adored the format they went with for this film. It was shot in a documentary-like format starring Margot Robbie as Tonya Harding, Sebastian Stan as Jeff Gilooly, and my personal favourite, Allison Janney as LaVona Golden (Tonya’s mother). It kind of bounces back and forth between Tonya’s truth and Jeff’s truth while interspersing interesting and often contradictory commentary by LaVona, Tonya’s trainer, Jeff’s friend (and an international terrorism expert, according to him and him alone). The movie starts by framing Tonya as a total victim of circumstance – an abusive mother who is callous and condescending from the ripe age of 4 onwards, a father who left while Tonya cried in his rearview mirror for him to take her with him, and low socioeconomic status that bled into every arena of her life, skating included. While it doesn’t necessarily ‘side’ with Tonya Harding’s recount of the controversial 1994 events, it definitely doesn’t let her off the hook either. The film makes it very, very clear that the details of the crime are not and probably will never be completely known.

The atmosphere is light while covering relatively dark subject matter – domestic abuse, restraining orders, child abuse, abandonment issues, death threats, class prejudice… I was aware that what happened to Nancy Kerrigan was awful, that Tonya Harding’s life was not easy, and yet, I still found myself laughing. LaVona Golden is portrayed as an absolutely wretched individual but you can’t look away, you want to see more of her, you want to hear her voice and see her giant Sophia-from-Golden-Girls glasses and her bowl cut more and more.

I don’t know what it is about this movie but I loved it. I thought it should have been a Best Picture candidate, especially if Three Billboards was in the running. I think it’s because it does such a good job of showing completely biased material and making sure the audience is totally aware that some of these events are matters of opinion, some may have happened and some may not have occurred at all.

Margot Robbie portrayed Harding as a totally misguided, bull-headed woman who, while she made history by being the first American woman to land a triple-axel in competition, is also sorely misguided and has super-skewed morals. Did she play a part in Kerrigan’s injuries or did she not? I don’t know if we’ll ever really know for sure, but I think it’s safe to say it’s a strong possibility and either way, Gillespie did a great job with this portrayal of Tonya’s story.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017)

29/01/2018 · by Joy

I’m not holding back on spoilers in this particular review because I feel the need to point out some gaping plot holes and… well, I just need to demonstrate how erratic the tonal shifts were. So, my apologies.

This year, I am waaay behind in watching the current Oscar Best Picture nominations. To be fair, I wanted so badly to see Lady Bird in theatres and it was here for like, a week, so I didn’t get to. I’m sure this one will be the same way – in & out before you can even utter its title. Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri: a tale of persistence that is simply unable to get it’s bearings on what tone it wants to convey. For the first probably 45 minutes of the movie, I was pretty much hooked. It sucked me in so fast, it kind of felt like I had come in in the middle of a film but I already knew what I needed to know. It was almost nice. But after a while, the tone started to take wild and erratic turns that were just… weird. At one point, we are aware that Woody Harrelson’s character is dying of pancreatic cancer (you know, the one with the famously low survival rate, so we definitely know what’s coming), but everything is going okay, Woody Harrelson and his weird (super out of place) wife are making jokes about their day and about Woody’s… er… noodly appendage. Next thing you know, his wife is making him go out to the stables and shovel horse shit even though he’s DYING?! What a lazy, ungrateful woman. Anyway, next thing you know, he’s committed suicide, but don’t worry, it then jumps back to comedic relief in the form of a letter written to his wife. It’s just… hard to follow, jarring, and it feels like someone totally shit the bed in the editing room. It’s like a very emotional rollercoaster, but it’s not fun.

There were a TON of plotholes that just kept jumping out at myself and my boyfriend on our ride home from the theatre. Characters completely do 180s on who they are as a person – Officer Dixon, a racist, asshole cop, suddenly shifts to being some kind of hailed hero after reading a letter from the now-deceased Woody Harrelson? I can see wanting to mend fences after being a total douche for the first half of the movie, but this was just like, he was a totally different character. He overhears a man in a bar talking about something he did to a girl and it’s pretty much word-for-word what happened to Angela Hayes in the film. He concocts this elaborate plan to get his DNA to test at the police station, getting himself pretty much beat to a pulp (instead of just, I don’t know, taking his beer bottle or something, but okay)… and then it turns out the DNA doesn’t match. I’m sorry, but that’s too much of a coincidence. That is WAY beyond suspension of disbelief. Why is this man hanging around Ebbing, Missouri so often? Why did he corner our main character in her workplace and hint that he was the man who did it? Why are the details of the occurrence literally the same? I’m sorry, that’s just not working for me. They could have written it in a much more subtle way that still made the audience suspect it was him, but didn’t have to feed it to us.

Why did Willoughby (Harrelson) wait until after he was dead to write Dixon a letter telling him how to be a better police officer? Why didn’t he just tell him that in person when he was alive? Why did the new police chief that witnessed Dixon throw someone out a second story window and then continue to beat on him for no particular reason say nothing about it? Dixon does end up getting fired, but not until he mouths off to the new chief. I.e., it has NOTHING to do with the fact that he beat an innocence man so badly it got him admitted to the hospital. Nope, no repercussions there. Okay.

Everyone seems to be pretty aware that it was Mildred (our main character) that set fire to the police station… but no repercussions there because Peter Dinklage is there to save the day with an alibi………………. ooookay.

Woody Harrelson’s wife is a supermodel with a weird British/Australian accent? She is beyond out of place in Missouri and again, it’s just not believable. Not to mention, she was an awwwwful actress.

McDormand was a fantastic actress and Harrelson was wonderful too. Actually, even Rockwell was really good. I think the flaws in this one come down to writing and plot – the more I think about it, the more questions I have and they’re not the good kind of “keeps you thinking” questions, they’re the kind that make you go, maybe this just wasn’t that good of a movie. I don’t know. I don’t see why this one is up for Best Picture and honestly I kind of wish I had spent my time watching The Shape of Water instead. Hoping I make it to that one before it’s out of theatres.

To be honest, if you skip this one, I don’t think you’re missing much.

The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)

24/01/2018 · by Joy

Starting off this review with a disclaimer: On the whole, I have not liked Yorgos Lanthimos’ previous films. I have seen both Dogtooth as well as The Lobster (or most of it anyway). Dogtooth I found at least somewhat intriguing and I did get through the whole film, and I really felt it had potential, however, The Lobster was the most pretentious drivel I have ever tried to watch in my entire lifetime, and I tried to sit through Chevalier at the Film Festival last year (more pretentious Greek drivel, albeit directed by someone else). So anyway, I was pretty well-equipped to turn the film off halfway through because I was fed up. I was fully and 100% prepared.

The slow-as-molasses pacing is very familiar. I got very distinct Nocturnal Animals, It Comes At Night (review coming, I promise), and of course, The Lobster vibes from it. Now, two out of three of those movies, I greatly disliked. There were differences between those 3 films at The Killing of a Sacred Deer, though, and one of the biggest ones was that I found the essence of this film to be much more ominous and much more compelling. The characters were all unsettling… probably even the ones that you’re supposed to like and feel empathetic towards, honestly. Everyone was stone-faced and completely devoid of emotion most of the time except maaaybe Nicole Kidman’s character. Kind of. The only character that really felt like he was playing the “right” role was Barry Keoghan – but the problem is, he’s supposed to be a stone-cold sociopath and the rest of the characters are not.

It wasn’t until the climactic ending that I realized this was supposed to be somewhat of a black comedy. It’s definitely not a film that you are supposed to connect or relate to — how can you, honestly? It’s bizarre and super esoteric and I have to say, I wouldn’t venture to watch it a second time. I mean, it wasn’t like, a struggle to get through it, but it wasn’t an enjoyable ride either.

The one thing I can and will gladly say is that the cinematography was on point. Some of the shots were just absolutely gorgeous. I don’t know, I don’t even really know what my opinion of this one is because it was just such a… strange movie. I didn’t come out thinking, “what a waste of 2 hours of my life,” but I also didn’t come out thinking, “that was wonderful, I am a changed person” so I guess it’s just kind of… “meh.” Not a total flop, but kind of disappointing… not a great success, but definitely there was ‘something’ there.

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