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Posts By Joy

First things first: I'm a realist.

The Visit (2015)

03/09/2016 · by Joy

I have to say that to begin with, I am not the biggest fan of M. Night Shyamalan’s work. There are very few that I watch and subsequently say, “That was a good movie!” Those few may be The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and Signs, not because I really thought it was technically good, but because I enjoyed it. After that, everything I’ve seen has just been indicative of a downhill spiral. The Village? Lady in the Water? The Happening? Should we even speak of The Last Airbender?? Shyamalan is hit-and-miss, but mostly miss.

So, knowing what I was likely getting into, I lowered my expectations. We quickly meet Becca and Tyler, who are 15 and 13 but speak as if they are actually 40 year old intellectuals. I typically don’t find that too distracting… after all, I am a person who has watched all of Dawson’s Creek at least 3 times over. I can usually set that aside, but it was pretty over the top. Asked what rap is, Becca states, and this is a direct quote: “It’s a form of modern poetry… if you give him a topic, he’ll extemporaneously rhyme on the subject. His stage nom de plume is ‘T-Diamond Stylus.'” Like, are you kidding me? What 30-year-old, let alone a 15-year-old, drops extemporaneously in casual conversation? One can be expected to suspend their disbelief, but not that far over the line. Nope, no way, Shyamalan.

Anyways, these 2 kids are going to meet their estranged grandparents for the first time, sans chaperone. Becca is an aspiring film-maker and thus, we now have a premise for a decently interesting found-footage film. Obviously they get there and something just isn’t quite… right with their new Nana and “Pop-Pop” (yeah… yeah.) At first, they’re perfectly pleasant and normal and kind, but weird things start to happen and things start to go awry before the trademark Shyamalan TWIST occurs and everything slides rapidly into… no.

It could have been a really good film. We were on a really good track with the premise and plot of the film, we really were. But so many things don’t add up, the kids have so many opportunities, and I’m sorry, they’re up against two absolutely ancient old people – you could take ’em! The child actors (Ed Oxenbould and Olivia DeJonge) are wonderful, truly, but it would have been a lot more natural and believable had they spoken like the age group they’re in.

It wasn’t an awful movie, but I wouldn’t give it what it has on Rotten Tomatoes (64%)… maybe a 45% at best. I’m not entirely sure if the comedic effects elicited at times were intentional or not, but they were there, and for the most part, they worked! But on the flip side of the coin, this movie wasn’t scary and it wasn’t all that thrilling either. There’s a jump scare now and then, but that’s about it. So I mean, if you’re down for a movie about pretentious children, a “twist” you can see coming from miles away, and being overcome with frustration at the stupidity of characters that are coming off way more intelligent than anyone I’ve ever met… this is your jam! Go forth!

Don’t Breathe (2016)

31/08/2016 · by Joy

I was so happy when I saw the previews for this movie and I noticed that the director was Fede Alvarez who also directed the remake (reimagining?) of Evil Dead in 2013. Aaaaand that completes his filmography.

He may be a “newbie” at directing, but he is talented. Again, I was kind of blind-sided (pun unintended, but it is a pleasant surprise). I thought it was going to be a cut-and-dry thriller about a B&E gone awry, but what I got was so much more messed up than I could have imagined.

The film-making was fantastic and everything was technically (I feel) flawless. I did, however, find myself in a weird position – there’s no protagonist in this film… no one’s a “good guy” and there’s no one really to root for. The characters constantly make stupid decisions that make it harder for them to get to their end-goal, which I get it, it’s more realistic that way because no one is going to make perfect decisions in an adrenaline-fueled situation. BUT! Having said that, every time I had to say, “oh my god, what are you waiting for? RUN!!!” I was infuriated and liked the main characters a smidgen less.

These three teenagers, desperate for cash and I guess with no other way to get it, break into an old, blind war veteran’s house because they find out he has a shit-ton of money hidden somewhere. They make some dumb, naive decisions that make little sense, and they severely underestimate the skill level of a seemingly weak person with visual impairments.

Jane Levy was absolutely fantastic, as she was in Evil Dead, and plays a strong female lead who doesn’t stop fighting until she absolutely must. She makes for an intense thrill ride that I think no one imagines going in. I will definitely be adding this one to my collection!

The Frighteners (1996)

29/08/2016 · by Joy

This past Friday evening was movie night at my friend Mel’s and since Halloween is just around the corner (okay, like 2 months away), we decided to watch a Halloweeny movie. I think it was Rhiannon that chose The Frighteners and I’m pretty appalled with myself to say that I didn’t know what it was. Apparently it was directed by Peter Jackson – like, THE Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, The Lovely Bones) and starring Michael J. Fox, I feel now like it should be a classic. Reading up on it, I learned that it was (a) a box office flop and (b) received decently on Rotten Tomatoes at 64%.

Watching it, I got definite Beetlejuice and Poltergeist vibes and it was great. I also have to say it started off as one film, took a hard left and turned into an entirely different film altogether. By the end, I was mostly just sitting there saying, “What. The. Fuck!” – in a good way, I assure you!

It’s about an architect named Frank Bannister (played by Michael J. Fox) who semi-sort-of cons people into thinking that he is cleansing their houses of spirits. Semi-sort-of because he does have the ability to see and speak to ghosts, but each haunting is a clever ruse put on by him and his ghost buddies, Cyrus (played by Chi McBride), Stuart (Jim Fyfe), and Judge (John Astin). He charges people money to cleanse their houses and is basically a con artist.

Pretty soon he finds himself at the centre of a bizarre pandemic: People begin dropping like flies, usually after contact with him. He discovers there is a creepy entity, strongly resembling the Grim Reaper, killing people and marking their number in their forehead (but only Frank can see these numbers!)

I don’t want to spoil it because I didn’t see it coming, but it spirals into the most off-the-wall, messed up thing involving a myriad of… interesting characters, including an FBI agent named Milton Dammers who was apparently a victim of the Manson Family in ’69 (played by Jeffrey Combs – Re-Animator).

It was just the strangest, most wonderful thing I’ve ever watched. I thoroughly enjoyed the weirdness and the absolute what-the-fuckery and it was more than just a film – it was an experience. I almost want to add it to my October movie line-up now – I will definitely watch this again in the future. Definitely.

Sausage Party (2016)

19/08/2016 · by Joy

Even though I enjoy any kind of movie, I would still say that Sausage Party is not the type of movie I’d usually go see in theatres. I’m partial to horror films, thrillers, that kind of thing. But something about Sausage Party just told me to do it and thus, I did. And I went with my mother. Luckily, my mom is not a prude because if that were the case, it would have been a suuuuper awkward hour and a half of my life.

It was… it was probably the number one most raunchy film I’ve ever seen. That’s right, even raunchier than the atrocity that is Good Luck Chuck. The difference between the two is that Sausage Party was actually funny (sorry, not sorry, Dane). I really don’t know what I was going into the movie expecting. I had seen the trailer and yet I was not fully prepared. I don’t know if you can ever actually be prepared for food orgies.

It was a smorgasbord of Seth Rogen (and clan’s) best, most racist, most sexual jokes, directed by Greg Tiernan, previously known for his work on Thomas & Friends (yeah, that’s what I said…) and Conrad Vernon, previously known for Shrek and sequels, Madagascar and sequels, Bee Movie, Flushed Away, and probably some other stuff. The jokes were hilarious and absolutely, truly disgusting at times. I think they literally covered every single food joke ever uttered.

The plot made sense (in a disturbing, cartoonish, pornographic sort of way), the animation was on point, and it was a lot of fun. Certainly not for the poised, and definitely not for children (although there were a few in my theatre…), but absolutely worth watching. I don’t know if I’d pay to see it in theatres again, but I would give it a rewatch while kicking back with some friends and some drinks!

Tallulah (2016)

11/08/2016 · by Joy

I have never seen a film starring Ellen Page that I did not enjoy and Tallulah was certainly no exception. Within the first half an hour, I knew I was in for a treat. In Juno, she played a teenager who conceived a child and didn’t want to keep it. In Tallulah, she plays a homeless young adult who ends up “accidentally” kidnapping a one-year-old.

The acting of everyone in this film was phenomenal. Ellen Page plays Tallulah was a fabulous, off-beat and quirky girl who flies by the seat of her pants, living in the back of her van, Jim. Evan Jonigkeit, who I didn’t recognize from anything but is apparently in stuff, plays Nico, Tallulah’s wayward boyfriend who doesn’t really belong in her lifestyle. Deciding to return home, Nico takes off in the night, leaving Tallulah to fend for herself. Tallulah, doing just that, ends up in a hotel scrounging for leftover food. Caught in the act, she is invited into the hotel room of a mother (Tammy Blanchard) who is dying to be rid of her infant daughter, Madison, so she can cheat on her husband. She leaves Madison in the care of Tallulah who shows more compassion and understanding for the child than her own mother did in the short time she spends with her. Her mother returns and promptly passes out, leaving Tallulah with an awful decision to make. She tries to leave, only to find Madison distressed and screaming, and decides a split second later to take her down to the van to sleep. Trying to return her the next morning, she finds the hotel lobby filled with cops, and does what her impulsive mind tells her to – she takes off to Nico’s mom’s apartment, tells his mom, played by Allison Janney, that the child was fathered by Nico. Reluctantly, she is allowed to stay and you’re left wondering how long it can possibly be before she is found out.

Despite a few plotholes (really, if a woman is screaming “STOP THAT WOMAN, SHE HAS MY CHILD,” I highly doubt that everyone in her near vicinity is going to ignore her), some bigger than others, this movie made me feel so many things. It was thought-provoking, the dialogue was witty, sometimes deep, and sometimes funny, but never too much of one thing at the wrong time. This was a fantastic directorial debut for Sian Heder, and it’s something I will definitely rewatch, probably a few times.

All in all, this was something I really enjoyed and I agree with Rottentomatoes – it fully deserves the 82% it currently has!

October Movie Marathon 2016!

05/07/2016 · by Joy

So every year since 2011, my boyfriend (David) and I have created a roster of films for the month of October and tried our very best to watch a different horror (or even horror-ish) film every day of the month. Usually, we open our couch up to anyone who wants to join us (well, from our group of friends) and if they come, they come and if not, oh well – their loss! We have in the past called it Nanasween (it’s a stupid name, we know) as our cat’s name is Sylvanas, shortened usually to Nanas, and the name just stuck.

This year is absolutely no exception and our roster is fully complete as of now so I’m going to post it here. Hopefully, I’ll try to follow along on this blog with the films we are watching and with our success, or lack thereof.

We’re really excited this year and we tried to base most of the films in the 2000s or newer because in the past we’ve done the same older films (which there’s obviously nothing wrong with that – there are more classics to choose from that way!) I tried really hard to include films we haven’t watched excessively in the past 5 years and even to include films that neither of us have seen.

The films (the title links to IMDb, the year links to Rottentomatoes):

Triangle (2009)
Hush (2016)
Crimson Peak (2015)
The Thing (1982)
[REC] (2007)
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
The Den (2013)
10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)
Drag Me to Hell (2009)
Ava’s Possessions (2016)
Trick ‘r Treat (2007)
Bakjwi (Thirst) (2009)
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Ich Seh, Ich Seh (Goodnight Mommy) (2014)
We Are Still Here (2015)
El Orfanato (The Orphanage) (2007)
It Follows (2015)
The Battery (2012)
Teeth (2007)
Kiss the Girls (1997)
The Conjuring 2 (2016)
Absentia (2011)
Flatliners (1990)
Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)
The Babadook (2014)
Bone Tomahawk (2015)
Don’t Look Now (1973)
Halloween (1978)
Clown (2014)
The Tunnel (2011)
The Visit (2015)

Finding Dory (2016)

03/07/2016 · by Joy

I did it! I went to the theatre at the latest possible non-3D showing, sat in a theatre full of children with my boyfriend, and I watched Finding Dory. Right now, Finding Dory has 95% on Rottentomatoes… that’s extremely fresh! Not as fresh as Finding Nemo, which is sitting at a beautiful and near-perfect 99%. Honestly, going in, I expected worse than I received!

As always, Pixar delivered the most beautiful scenery. The oceanscapes are absolutely gorgeous and I can’t imagine how much time, effort, and work went into animating it. Just an unreal amount of beauty! Anybody who has seen Finding Nemo can vouch for the fact that a sequel is basically unnecessary. Nemo was a masterpiece on its own that ended perfectly, no more explanation needed. However, I would say that this addition was not unwelcome. I was really worried that they were basically going to make a re…imagining, if you will, of Finding Nemo -Dory gets lost, Marlin & Nemo have to scour the ocean to find her, they get into crazy ocean hijinks – and at its most basic, that is the premise of the film, but it takes it just one step further to make something original!

I have to nit-pick though. I think they went too far with anthropomorphizing the sea creatures. In the first film, there were far-fetched aspects – you know, A.A. with sharks and escaping through a whale’s blowhole – but at least those are… things that happen in the ocean. You expect them to take real-life elements in the ocean – sharks, jellyfish, anglerfish, the East Australian Current – and use them to make a coherent story. THAT SAID, there is a line where you jump straight from “plausible” to “absolutely ridiculous” and I gotta say, octopus driving truck being navigated by Blue Tang and being tracked by a beluga whale over in the ocean using his echolocation, is nearing that extreme we don’t want to be hitting.

I’m certain that kids liked it. I could hear them all around me laughing and squealing with delight, however, for those of us… *ahem* adults who enjoy animated films that have an intelligent streak, you just can’t suspend your disbelief that far or for that long.

All that aside, the film is heartwarming and I teared up a bit when Dory was reunited with her parents. It was entertaining enough to keep my attention, as well as several under-10-year-olds’… it just overstepped a bound or two that I, personally, wouldn’t have crossed. It introduced many entertaining characters, such as Hank the seven-legged octopus (septopus?), Gerald the sea lion, and Becky the loon, as well as some less entertaining characters who are integral to the plot, such as Destiny the whale shark, and Bailey the Beluga whale. It is a worthy addition to the Pixar roster… I’m just not sure it’s as perfect a film as Finding Nemo!

Lovely Molly (2011)

03/07/2016 · by Joy

Lovely Molly is a movie about a recovering drug addict who has the worst support system, including doctors, in the whole universe. That pretty much sums it up accurately, I think. I was prepared for a really great, underrated horror film judging by the reviews that Dreadit consistently seems to give it, but I ended up just… thoroughly disappointed. That said, newcomer Gretchen Lodge was fantastic. It is directed by the director of The Blair Witch Project, which is part of the reason I wanted so badly to watch it.

The movie starts off innocuously enough, but quickly catapults into, I guess, what Sanchez wanted to be a slow-burning thriller? It’s definitely slow. This woman, Molly (who doesn’t turn out to be very lovely after all), and her new husband, Tim, move into Molly’s deceased parents’ house. It is revealed pretty much immediately that something happened in her childhood that was traumatic and it happened in that house, which led me to ask, in the first 15 minutes, if something so terrible happened to her, why did she move willingly back into said house? It is also revealed very soon into the film that she is a recovering drug addict (heroin)… which again led me to ask, why is her family letting her move into a house where traumatic events occurred? So many questions to which you never really receive an answer, except for “her family is really bad at supporting her in her recovery.”

The film is disturbing, with a few scenes going straight for shock factor. I don’t want to spoil anything, but there is gore, there is sexual content, and there are dead animals. That said, this movie was not scary… I know I don’t really get scared by films much anymore, but that said, it’s just not a scary movie. It’s gross… it’s disturbing… it’s more or less a look at repressing memories and one girl’s descent into pure madness. And all throughout, her sister and her newlywed husband go about enabling her – her sister literally comes over and brings pot to smoke with her! Her husband takes her to the doctor’s and the doctor says, “Well, she’s fine physically…” and prescribes her some sleeping pills. When her husband asks, “What if she becomes dangerous?” it is implied that nothing is really said and no solution is offered.

It is a very strange film because it is filmed in an almost found-footage style, but it is not (for the most part) found-footage. There is an excess of shaky cam and POV shots and it’s pretty much Blair Witch but a different story. The characters are illogical and largely unlikeable. The use of “subtle” squealing noises to make you feel uneasy almost gave me vertigo at some points in the movie.

Overall, it was just a highly detestable experience and honestly, I probably won’t ever watch it again.

10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

26/06/2016 · by Joy

I have anxiously awaited this film more than probably any of them in the last few months, horror-wise at least. I am a huge fan of John Goodman… he is the best thing that could have happened to Red State, he was great in Flight, and let’s be real, he is like a dad to all of us. I waited though to see what the critics thought (and until it was available to rent on Google Play Movies…) and was so ecstatic to see it was given 90% on Rottentomatoes!

To be fair, you have to kind of go into it NOT expecting it to be related to the 2008 film Cloverfield, because really… it doesn’t. It starts off innocuously enough, introducing us to our main character, Michelle, played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead who is fighting with her boyfriend and traveling away from him to… well, it’s never really explained where she was going or why she was leaving. She is playing with her phone while driving (tsk) and ends up getting into a car accident and being knocked unconscious. When she wakes up, she finds herself in a cell somewhere. We are pretty quickly introduced to John Goodman’s character, Howard, who we learn has built a bunker below his farmhouse for protection from fallout of any sort. Then we basically spend the film questioning where we are, what’s going on, and do we trust Howard?

John Goodman is fantastic – he is menacing when he needs to be and yet, he’s warm at times. He’s a very well-rounded character and that’s nice to see. While Michelle is our main character and she is who we are following through the plot, the centre of the film is John Goodman, 100%. In my opinion, Howard is up there with Kathy Bates’ “Annie Wilkes” in Misery (1990). One minute he is sweet and caring and nurturing, and when something triggers his temper, he flies off the handle in a fit of outrage.

This film is really difficult to talk about without spoiling the plot and the major plotpoints, but what I can say is that 10 Cloverfield Lane keeps you on your toes, it keeps you guessing, and it’s atmosphere is dreadful in the best way possible. But despite these amazing points – the first… 5/6ths of the film’s plot, the well-fleshed out characters, the atmosphere – the ending is really a sticking point for me. It is clearly there solely to link the film to the original Cloverfield and it just… doesn’t fit. It would have been a 10/10 had it stuck with it’s original path, had it left you guessing at the end rather than pulling a connection out of its own butt. That being said, I’m still going to buy it for my collection… I will still rewatch it, probably a few times, and it’s definitely in the running for this year’s October horror movie marathon!

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016)

16/06/2016 · by Joy

I actually went to the theatre and saw Popstar on Friday night and it is now Wednesday evening and I am just now sitting down to talk about my thoughts about Conner 4 Real nnnnoowww… my life is a black abyss of studenthood, full-time employment and professional TV show binge-watching at the current time, so I haven’t had any time to sit down and think about this movie.

Which is OKAY in the long-run because there is not a lot of thinking required for this one, my friends. If you are not familiar with The Lonely Island then I can’t help you and you should probably leave this post now and then not return until you’ve educated yourself a little bit. But seriously, if you haven’t been living under a rock since 2001 (you’ve literally had 15 years to get to know this wonderful trio!!), you know who Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone & Akiva Schaffer are and what they have done.

So anyway, I went into Popstar with some pretty high expectations, as I generally have when it comes to Andy Samberg and I did not leave disappointed. This movie is a riot. It’s a mockumentary (think This is Spinal Tap) that is basically out-and-out making fun of Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never “documentary” which followed JB for 10 days leading up to some big ol’ concert he had or something and had some home movies and shit in there. Whatever. Who cares. Popstar was a trillion times more enjoyable and a gazillion times better.

Andy plays Conner (4 Real), a former member of the Style Boyz gone solo, who is literally the cutest, most clueless popstar in the entire universe. It is not overextended at 87 minutes, and it doesn’t feel nearly long enough (which is probably a good thing, because if it gets too long then it only leaves room to get worse). Imagine watching a Saturday Night Live skit… but it was 87 minutes long and hilarious from start to finish. That’s what Popstar embodies and it’s glorious. It features many prominent stars from the current pop and comedy world, such as Sarah Silverman, Usher, ASAP Rocky, Tim Meadows, Maya Rudolph, Joan Cusack, Justin Timberlake, 50 Cent, Ringo Starr, Simon Cowell, Adam Levine, D.J. Khaled… and almost all of them star as themselves commenting on Conner’s fame. It just works so fabulously!

In sum, there was never a dull moment… there was never a time when I wasn’t at least smiling ear-to-ear. Andy Samberg is just the greatest thing to grace this planet and I’m not ashamed to say it.

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