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Emelie (2015)

11/09/2016 · by Joy

Emelie is the movie that encompasses every parent’s nightmare when hiring a babysitter that you don’t reaaaally know all that well. It’s directed by Michael Thelin, who, as far as I can tell, hasn’t directed any movies before now. It stars a bunch of “unrecognizables”, which is one of my favourite things when watching a horror movie. When there’s a recognizable actor, you can’t help but be taken out of the movie just a tad.

Sarah Bolger plays Emelie, a girl fronting as “Anna”, a couple’s go-to babysitter’s best friend. At the very beginning of the film, you learn that “Anna” is not who she says she is as we watch the real Anna, a character we haven’t met – at all, get thrown into a mysterious black car. The new “Anna” shows up at the house, sweet as pie and the parents detect nothing amiss and head out on their much-anticipated date. Before the parents leave, in some pretty obvious foreshadowing, we learn that the children are not allowed to have cell phones until they’re 13. After the parents leave, the kids are put through the ringer… they have to watch the youngest (and only) daughter’s pet hamster get eaten by the oldest son’s snake, they are forced to watch their dad’s amateur sex tape with a woman who is not his wife(?), and then they listen to a bedtime story about a girl who neglectfully kills her infant child and now needs to find a new one, referring to the new child she is on the hunt for as her “Cubby.” Creepy. Very creepy.

Eventually, we learn that this operation is clearly bigger than Emelie alone when the parents get t-boned by an oncoming car on their way home from their date. As Emelie and her mysterious suited man’s death toll rises, the three children are fighting for their lives and Jacob, the oldest, is fighting to keep his younger brother from being kidnapped.

In a disturbing twist of events (to the parents, since we already know this), they are driven home by a cop, but on the drive back the cop gets a radio call letting him know he needs to head back to the crime scene as OH MY GOD, a body was found in the trunk of the car – the body of Anna Coleman.

This movie was tense, I’ll give it that, albeit a little farfetched. If I had children, it would probably make me think twice about who I’m leaving my children with. But come on, if I knew who the girl was, I’d have looked her up on Facebook to confirm her identity before leaving my children with them at the veeeery least!

Overall, a decent thriller (with surprisingly okay child actors) that I probably wouldn’t venture to watch again, at least for a long while!

Sausage Party (2016)

19/08/2016 · by Joy

Even though I enjoy any kind of movie, I would still say that Sausage Party is not the type of movie I’d usually go see in theatres. I’m partial to horror films, thrillers, that kind of thing. But something about Sausage Party just told me to do it and thus, I did. And I went with my mother. Luckily, my mom is not a prude because if that were the case, it would have been a suuuuper awkward hour and a half of my life.

It was… it was probably the number one most raunchy film I’ve ever seen. That’s right, even raunchier than the atrocity that is Good Luck Chuck. The difference between the two is that Sausage Party was actually funny (sorry, not sorry, Dane). I really don’t know what I was going into the movie expecting. I had seen the trailer and yet I was not fully prepared. I don’t know if you can ever actually be prepared for food orgies.

It was a smorgasbord of Seth Rogen (and clan’s) best, most racist, most sexual jokes, directed by Greg Tiernan, previously known for his work on Thomas & Friends (yeah, that’s what I said…) and Conrad Vernon, previously known for Shrek and sequels, Madagascar and sequels, Bee Movie, Flushed Away, and probably some other stuff. The jokes were hilarious and absolutely, truly disgusting at times. I think they literally covered every single food joke ever uttered.

The plot made sense (in a disturbing, cartoonish, pornographic sort of way), the animation was on point, and it was a lot of fun. Certainly not for the poised, and definitely not for children (although there were a few in my theatre…), but absolutely worth watching. I don’t know if I’d pay to see it in theatres again, but I would give it a rewatch while kicking back with some friends and some drinks!

Tallulah (2016)

11/08/2016 · by Joy

I have never seen a film starring Ellen Page that I did not enjoy and Tallulah was certainly no exception. Within the first half an hour, I knew I was in for a treat. In Juno, she played a teenager who conceived a child and didn’t want to keep it. In Tallulah, she plays a homeless young adult who ends up “accidentally” kidnapping a one-year-old.

The acting of everyone in this film was phenomenal. Ellen Page plays Tallulah was a fabulous, off-beat and quirky girl who flies by the seat of her pants, living in the back of her van, Jim. Evan Jonigkeit, who I didn’t recognize from anything but is apparently in stuff, plays Nico, Tallulah’s wayward boyfriend who doesn’t really belong in her lifestyle. Deciding to return home, Nico takes off in the night, leaving Tallulah to fend for herself. Tallulah, doing just that, ends up in a hotel scrounging for leftover food. Caught in the act, she is invited into the hotel room of a mother (Tammy Blanchard) who is dying to be rid of her infant daughter, Madison, so she can cheat on her husband. She leaves Madison in the care of Tallulah who shows more compassion and understanding for the child than her own mother did in the short time she spends with her. Her mother returns and promptly passes out, leaving Tallulah with an awful decision to make. She tries to leave, only to find Madison distressed and screaming, and decides a split second later to take her down to the van to sleep. Trying to return her the next morning, she finds the hotel lobby filled with cops, and does what her impulsive mind tells her to – she takes off to Nico’s mom’s apartment, tells his mom, played by Allison Janney, that the child was fathered by Nico. Reluctantly, she is allowed to stay and you’re left wondering how long it can possibly be before she is found out.

Despite a few plotholes (really, if a woman is screaming “STOP THAT WOMAN, SHE HAS MY CHILD,” I highly doubt that everyone in her near vicinity is going to ignore her), some bigger than others, this movie made me feel so many things. It was thought-provoking, the dialogue was witty, sometimes deep, and sometimes funny, but never too much of one thing at the wrong time. This was a fantastic directorial debut for Sian Heder, and it’s something I will definitely rewatch, probably a few times.

All in all, this was something I really enjoyed and I agree with Rottentomatoes – it fully deserves the 82% it currently has!

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016)

16/06/2016 · by Joy

I actually went to the theatre and saw Popstar on Friday night and it is now Wednesday evening and I am just now sitting down to talk about my thoughts about Conner 4 Real nnnnoowww… my life is a black abyss of studenthood, full-time employment and professional TV show binge-watching at the current time, so I haven’t had any time to sit down and think about this movie.

Which is OKAY in the long-run because there is not a lot of thinking required for this one, my friends. If you are not familiar with The Lonely Island then I can’t help you and you should probably leave this post now and then not return until you’ve educated yourself a little bit. But seriously, if you haven’t been living under a rock since 2001 (you’ve literally had 15 years to get to know this wonderful trio!!), you know who Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone & Akiva Schaffer are and what they have done.

So anyway, I went into Popstar with some pretty high expectations, as I generally have when it comes to Andy Samberg and I did not leave disappointed. This movie is a riot. It’s a mockumentary (think This is Spinal Tap) that is basically out-and-out making fun of Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never “documentary” which followed JB for 10 days leading up to some big ol’ concert he had or something and had some home movies and shit in there. Whatever. Who cares. Popstar was a trillion times more enjoyable and a gazillion times better.

Andy plays Conner (4 Real), a former member of the Style Boyz gone solo, who is literally the cutest, most clueless popstar in the entire universe. It is not overextended at 87 minutes, and it doesn’t feel nearly long enough (which is probably a good thing, because if it gets too long then it only leaves room to get worse). Imagine watching a Saturday Night Live skit… but it was 87 minutes long and hilarious from start to finish. That’s what Popstar embodies and it’s glorious. It features many prominent stars from the current pop and comedy world, such as Sarah Silverman, Usher, ASAP Rocky, Tim Meadows, Maya Rudolph, Joan Cusack, Justin Timberlake, 50 Cent, Ringo Starr, Simon Cowell, Adam Levine, D.J. Khaled… and almost all of them star as themselves commenting on Conner’s fame. It just works so fabulously!

In sum, there was never a dull moment… there was never a time when I wasn’t at least smiling ear-to-ear. Andy Samberg is just the greatest thing to grace this planet and I’m not ashamed to say it.

Hush (2016)

10/04/2016 · by Joy

You know when you’re just scrolling through Netflix’s catalogue and you stumble upon something so intriguing, you can’t help but watch it? That’s what happened to me today when I found Hush. “She lives in isolation, a world of silence. It doesn’t mean she’s easy prey. One intruder finds that out the hard way.” The premise is certainly not a complicated one – a woman with hearing loss (Kate Siegel) finds herself being stalked by a killer (John Gallagher, Jr.) with a crossbow in her home in the country.

Both leads are fascinating characters. Siegel is both hard of hearing and mute, due to a bout of meningitis as a teenager. Gallagher is given very little backstory and despite his relatively small stature, he is terrifying and imposing. The cast is extremely small, consisting of the 2 leads, the main character’s neighbour and her husband and finally, the main character’s sister over FaceTime. In addition, the entire movie took place in and around her house.

The story was intriguing and the first half of the movie was spent building up a great deal of tension, which was really effective later on when the film comes to a climax. Despite a few bumps and plot holes along the way that I am having difficulty getting past, I really enjoyed watching this movie… however, the pacing was a bit scatterbrained. At times, it was slow and ambling and then the next scene would be frantic and hard to follow. That’s not necessarily a negative, it just throws you off upon watching.

The film is definitely carried by the two leads, though, as I mentioned before. Their fantastic acting ability created a sense of reality and, at times, panic. Some reviews have been hailing it “one of the best horror films in modern history” but I don’t feel that that is accurate. The only thing I find revolutionary about this film is the fact that it uses very little dialogue, especially from the main character who communicates solely in American Sign Language. Other than that, it was a pretty par-for-the-course thriller… but an entertaining one at that, worth a watch or two!

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