jason isaacs | Joy Reviews Movies

A Cure for Wellness had me intrigued right from the get-go. When I saw the ratings coming in as less than appealing, I was sort of let-down but not enough to deter me entirely. So what did I do? I bought it when I saw it at the local pawn shop without viewing it first. Makes sense to me.

Luckily, I don’t regret it. Sure, the film I found had flaws. It was about 45 minutes longer than it needed to be. The ending was less than satisfying. The ‘twist’ was relatively predictable. But those visuals. Ooh, those visuals. I was so incredibly blown away by the cinematography and the visual effects. I can’t even describe them. They used symmetry and wide shots of the Alps to the very best of anyone’s abilities. The consistent use of the colour blue induces a lulling sense of security amid the unease evoked by the bizarre actions of the vast majority of the characters.

I feel like A Cure for Wellness is one of those films that is just so masterful in some aspects that you can let the flawed story kind of… go, because watching for the dialogue, the acting, and the visuals is enough to carry it. It was definitely enough to keep me intrigued and to make sure that I didn’t feel like I’d wasted 2 1/2 hours of my life. There are so many horror cliches and period film cliches, it almost feels like Verbinski is trying to give a less than subtle nod to those effects we’ve seen a thousand times before.

In sum, I really enjoyed A Cure for Wellness and I’m happy I have it in my collection. It requires a bit of a time dedication and I know it’s not going to appeal to everyone, but I think for those who have a certain appreciation for the visual aspects of film, it will be a treat. Give it a shot!

Well, we did it! We finished the entirety of the Harry Potter series. 19 hours and 40 minutes later, we have been enlightened. Well, I mean, I already knew what happened, but David has been enlightened. I really enjoyed the last few movies. Even Order of the Phoenix was good while I found the book rather dull and dragging. I think the movies really benefited from having a consistent director and it’s too bad that David Yates hadn’t done all of the films. There were certain continuity errors that were likely caused by not having the same director all the way through. But even so, a very solid series with the lowest film rating on Rotten Tomatoes at a two-way tie between Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, both sitting at 78% which is still certified fresh! Honestly, I think my least favourite in the series was probably Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince… I really find scenes with Ginny just dreadful. I Googled it and found so many threads about movie Ginny being the worst and I 200% agree. She’s awful and doesn’t do book Ginny justice. She has no presence, no character development, and absolutely 0 personality. She is a cardboard character and it’s such a shame. Even still, it is now my goal to add all of the Harry Potter films to my Bluray collection (as of yesterday, I only require Goblet of Fire, Order of the Phoenix, and Deathly Hallows: Part 1… thanks pawn shops!)

So instead of coming up with some qualms I have about the wizarding world (while I have many and I definitely still stand by my previous ones 100% – especially guns vs magic… guns win every time, safety or no), this time I thought I’d provide you with a little something I have compiled: a drinking game! Everyone loves drinking games and even if you don’t like Harry Potter, you can’t deny the movies are good movies. So here are some of the rules I came up with for all of the movies. I know some websites go for a movie by movie approach, but that was just too tedious and if you’re marathon-ing the films, you’ll know which films apply and when, so here you go:

Joy Reviews Movies’ Harry Potter Drinking Game Rules Master List (Good Luck):

Take one drink when…

Draco Malfoy threatens, “Wait until my father hears about this…”
Harry Potter’s scar is visibly in pain
Ron Weasley whines about something (take a second if it has to do with spiders or when it has to do with Harry Potter being chosen for the Tri-Wizard Tournament)
Someone says that Harry Potter has his mother’s eyes or looks just like his father (take 2 if it’s Snape… you’ll need that extra drink)
A new rule gets posted on the wall of Hogwarts by Filch
Voldemort is referred to as “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named”
Anyone says anything stereotypically “British” (“bloody hell,” “blimey,” – this is pretty much up to your discretion)
Hermione Granger answers a professor’s question in class
Harry Potter is oblivious to something everyone else in the wizarding world seems to be aware of (e.g., who Sirius Black is)
Luna Lovegood references Nargles
Harry Potter is referred to as “The Boy Who Lived”

Take two drinks when…

Points are added to Gryffindor house
Points are deducted from Gryffindor house
Harry Potter meets someone for the first time (good luck…)
Literally anyone says that Harry Potter is the “chosen one”
The pensieve is used (by anyone)
An Unforgivable Curse is used (Crucio, Imperio, Avada Kedavra)
A Dementor tries to suck out someone’s soul (whether they’re successful or not)
A Patronus is conjured
Fred & George Weasley say something simultaneously and are the ultimate twins
Someone speaks Parseltongue
Dobby shows up! (first time, second time, third time… last time… anytime)
Cedric Diggory smiles (and you subsequently swoon)
Anyone says “Merlin’s Beard!”

Finish your drink when…

Seamus Finnegan blows something up
A Horcrux is destroyed
A main character dies doing their heroic duty
Draco Malfoy gets his comeuppance (e.g., when Hermione punches him in the face or when Mad-Eye Moody turns him into a ferret)
Dumbledore yells, “DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?!” (…calmly)
Voldemort is defeated!

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A Cure for Wellness (2016)

The Harry Potter Series (2001-2011): Part II